Phoenix Nights Channel Four Thursday 8th August 2002

Excellent, full of attention to detail that they didn't do last time. Great moments like the bouncers singing along to Dennis Waterman, the compulsive liar declaring he had special skin like asbestos, Jerry and Alan performing in Asda.

Corned Beef, With chips or with salad, It's Corned Beef, Even Buckingham Palace, Eats Corned Beef.

Wish I had a greeter like that in my supermarket.

Ted Robbins' rival club owner, the despicable Den Perry, is Bernard Manning, it is him. A great big nasty Northern club-owner with a foul mouth and a gravelly voice. Guaranteed.

The Ponderosa hotel, Blackpool had a marble foyer with clocks displaying three timezones - New York, London, Blackpool.

Lots of subtle visual gags, the best of which was a bouquet of flowers tied to a Blackpool lamp-post with the legend "In memory of Alan who died 4/12/89".

"I think I can say you've never seen this" Stand By For Action - 18th and 19th May 2002 -A Review.

I went to "Stand By For Action". I thought it was good. That is my review. Will that do? Probably not so I'll start again.

I'd turned down the previous convention - slight matter of the last football match at Wembley - so when my friend Sue said "Hey, that convention's back at the Allesley Hotel", I jumped at the chance to attend. They said people had travelled far and wide, across the globe to be there - Belgium, Italy, Australia wasn't it? Whilst they were competing for furthest visitor, I was competing for closest, living just over the hill behind the hotel.

I'm a Doctor Who convention veteran of twelve years and it was interesting to compare and contrast. Having a wide range of programmes - something like Supercar through to Space Precinct I gather - certainly gives the convention a fresh air of variety. My own personal fave is UFO, so great to see Ed Bishop.

There was an emotional moment for me when the guests lined up for a photocall. I saw thirteen people who had dramatically influenced the lives of today's adults. They were not scientists, teachers or even politicians. Thirteen people who had used their imaginations to inspire ours and have given us such colourful memories.

Some illusions were shattered. All these years I'd believed that somehow Cary Grant had been persuaded to voice Captain Scarlet in the late sixties. This myth was dispelled by Francis Matthews' anecdotes of Scarlet's inception; a tribute to his vocal skills later supported by the CGI test film.

The following memories endure,

* Discovering that the car-rolling shot in The Protectors title sequence had been an unplanned stunt.

* Seeing "Mister Derek" Fowlds and Newscaster Jan Leeming learning their trade in "Solarnauts".

* Following Alan Shubrook's presentation on model-making, finding myself watching the following day's remastered Joe 90 in another light. Instead of following the story as I would normally, I was analysing the detailed modelwork, looking out for perspex windows and "dirtying up".

* "You've Never Seen This" with Pete Collins. I was most impressed with this jolly little wheeze. Oh yes indeed I was. Mmm, yes, most exciting. I jolly well needed an ice-cream soda - I just marvelled at how many Pete and friends got through.

The charity auction was presented by David "Cheap as Chips" Dickinson - no? - well Lovejoy then - no, Martin Gainsford was "cutting a deal" one minute and dishing out bargains the next. It overran but you never noticed because the pace was frenetic. You're the "real deal" Martin.

And there you have it - a world event on my doorstep. Just to finish off, the event received front page coverage in the local paper not to mention an entry on their letters page. I could tell you who wrote in but I'm far too modest.