| Scene: |
The flight deck of The Liberator. Avon is fiddling
with the auto-navigator. Jenna, Cally and Vila are sat on the sofas.
Blake enters, approaches Avon slowly and puts his hand on his shoulder. |
| |
|
| Blake: |
Avon, there's something I'd like you to do for me. |
| Avon: |
Frankly Blake, I'm, tired of your bullying, megalomaniac
orders, I suggest you get one of your devoted sheep to do the dirty
work for you from now on, I'm through, what is it you want me to
do? |
| Blake: |
It's the video. |
| Avon: |
You want me to reprogram the video. Do you have any
idea how much fiddling around with small screws and circuitry is
involved? |
| Blake: |
Yes, I'm sorry. I wouldn't normally ask you to do
this, but it's a rare episode of Star trek and it's on in ten minutes. |
| Avon: |
Funny how you always run to me to get you out of every
crisis. |
| Blake: |
Just get on with it will you? |
| |
(Avon sits on the floor and unscrews the
back of the video and small portable TV which are on the table in
front of the sofas.) |
| Avon: |
I don't suppose there's a chance of getting a coffee
round here? |
| Vila: |
Sorry, I won't go anywhere near that kettle. It doesn't
like me. |
| Avon: |
The kettle is just a machine. Machines are not capable
of emotion. |
| Vila: |
I haven't seen you making any hot drinks lately. |
| Avon: |
That is because I dislike the kettle. |
| Vila: |
Same thing! |
| Avon: |
On the contrary. The fact that I dislike the kettle
rather than the kettle disliking me places me above it on the evolutionary
scale...unlike you. |
| Blake: |
Look, just how long is this going to take? |
| Cally: |
You have got seven minutes, Avon. |
| |
(Blake squirms impatiently. Avon looks across at him.) |
| Avon: |
I know, make it five. |
| Blake: |
I don't understand why we can't use Video Plus like
other people. |
| Avon: |
Firstly, we are not other people and secondly, you
have obviously forgotten what happened last time we tried it. |
| Blake: |
Oh yes, how is Gan, Cally? |
| Cally: |
He has recovered physically but is still troubled
by unpleasant dreams. |
| Vila: |
I don't know what's got into the toaster either. It
never used to be so vicious. |
| Avon: |
The toaster is just a machine. Machines aren't ... |
| Jenna: |
Oh do give over! (Throws her plastic cup at him.) |
| Avon: |
You could try tying a knot in its lead. |
| Vila: |
What would that do? |
| Avon: |
I don't know, but it worked on the vacuum cleaner. |
| Jenna: |
There was nothing wrong with the vacuum cleaner. It's
bag was full, that's all. |
| Vila: |
Yes, that was very strange. I'd only emptied the bag
the week before and suddenly it's full again! And you know what
was really weird? It was full of sequins and feathers! |
| |
(Avon ducks down behind the TV) |
| |
|
