Diary of a Conbody

Sunday 12:00 pm

Tannoy announces the Blooper tape. Dropped everything, hurried to the main hall.

Hurried back for Simon.

Thoroughly enjoyed blooper tape (saw it in '99 but you can't have too much of a good thing).

Sunday 1:00 pm

Had lunch at Kentucky fried Chicken. No language tape in loo.

Sunday 2:00 pm

Returned to hear Michael Sheard talk. Michael threatens to split us into two if we don't have enough questions. Uncertain as to what that entails, the required number of questions are generated.

Sunday 3:00 pm

Gareth Thomas arrives. Told several stories that involved going down the pub (can't think why).

Pitch invasion by Michael Sheard's troopers.

Gareth drills the troopers.

Troopers prove unable to tell right from left and are marched double quick back to the bar for further instruction.

Sunday 4:00 pm

Paraphernalia for closing ceremony begins to arrive. Hilarious video of chaos space ships saving the galaxy from terrifying jelly fish is shown. Inspired dubbing from Spock left most of audience crying with laughter.

Servalan is voted ruler of the Universe again. Sheridan is found to be alive. G'Kar is found to be The Master. The Master is married to Servalan. The real G'Kar is found to be 3 inches tall and Londo makes off with the Tardis.

So no change there then.

Purple won. Hurrah!

Guest are thanked and bid farewell.

Redemption '03 is signed up for.

Simon and I return to Sarah's house and liberally smear the carpet with tomato sauce and pepperoni while struggling to eat pizza. I spill lemonade. We bid Sarah a sad farewell.

Sarah gets carpet cleaner out.

Plan '03 costumes during drive home.

February 2003

Hope to see everyone again, had a fantastic time in 2001!

Saturday 10.00 am Attended radio play debate. Decide the radio plays are both Cannon and Bull. Upset passionate Blake fan again. Gone into hiding. Gave first hall costume nomination to very dapper Centauri in boulevard. Pursued Captain Scarlet down crowded corridor waving second hall costume nomination paper. Captain Scarlet gone into hiding.
Saturday 11.00 am Went to 'Why do we love villains debate'. Must be in wrong room. Turned out to be 'Do It Yourself costume making' presentation. Simon decides that it may be possible for him to enter the fancy dress competition as the Liberator after all. I fall in love with home made ticking bomb. Memo - Must order large amounts of P38 car filler. Saturday 12:00 pm
Attended the Blake's 7 'Was Blake a Terrorist or Freedom fighter' debate. Argue he's a terrorist on grounds of Star 1. Gareth asks 'What's all this Star 1 malarkey then?' Pitch invasion by Sheilagh Wells and Joe Nazzaro. Hope I haven't upset passionate Blake fan. Keeping a low profile. Saturday 1.00 pm Went to Big Hair, Small Costume debate. Full of people with big hair and small costumes. David Walsh reveals ultimate put down for aggressive young men "I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever have". We are not worthy!!
Saturday 2 pm Want to go to belly dance workshop. Simon faints with hunger. Order lunch instead. Find that my performance in '99 inspired Katharine Woods to take up belly dancing. Seriously chuffed. Looking forward to cabaret.
Saturday 3 pm Hear that Ron Thornton's boss is doing a talk. Hurry to room to hear it. Hurry back for Simon. Sit in empty room for 15 minutes. Must be wrong room. Relieve disappointment by going to Dalek skalextric. Wrestle controls from children. Spend next half hour making whooping and vrooming noises. Gamers can't hear themselves think. Have to race Tie fighters because Daleks can't go under bridge (or up stairs). Such attention to detail!! Simon wins. Curses! Discover that if you drive them fast enough, you can make Tie fighters fly. Decide to let kids have a go. Spend next half hour fielding Tie fighters. Children not half as noisy as we were. Saturday 4 pm
Went to Fancy dress and Cabaret rehearsal. Handed in pre prepared scripts for both our Babylon 5 costumes. Simon admits that maybe the name Vocator Tregaryen Dragos Zekiye may be a little complicated. Shortens it to Vocator Tregaryen Zekiye. Captain Scarlet cornered in dealers' room. Saturday 5 pm Went to Dinner at Frankie and Bennies. Found they play an Italian language tape in the loos. Learnt how to say 'I have a boyfriend', 'I have a husband', 'I am divorced'. Decide life must be in the fast lane in Italy
Saturday 6:30 pm Returned from dinner to get ready for fancy dress and cabaret. Accidentally glued Simon's hair to bedspread with hair gel. Bald wig pushes eyebrows down over nose. Look like Neanderthal. Bald wig pulls eyebrows up into hairline. Instant face lift. Hurrah!! Simon still glued to bedspread, starting to sound distressed. Saturday 7:30 Running out of time. Lost bag, can't find shoes. Sarah chips Simon's hair off bedspread and pins it into roll. Found bag, lost gloves. Sarah glued to Simon's hair. Found shoes, lost wig. Sarah unglued from Simon's hair. Found gloves, lost bag.
Saturday 7:55 pm Finally ready. Hurried down corridor. Hurried back for Simon. Helped Simon to main hall ready for fancy dress. (Simon refuses to use crutches).
Hidden in corridor off main hall with the rest of the masqueraders.
Got up on stage and showed off. Returned to corridor. Missed first half of the cabaret while converting Centauri costume into belly dance costume and dissociating veil from coin belt and generally panicking. Bother!
Performed own belly dance. Astonished by generous applause. Would have dropped veil if hadn't dropped it already. Missed second half of cabaret while converting belly dance costume back to Centauri costume. Bother and Blast!! Finally emerge to find someone on stage holding up a remarkable likeness to Moloch. David Walsh performed encore in his own inimitable style.
Found that Simon and I had won the fancy dress. Hurrah! Hurried up to the stage for prize. Hurried back for Simon. Awarded 50 Drazi points each. Can't let Simon have his, he's GREEN! Hidden Drazi points down cleavage. Decided that's probably not safe. Hidden Drazi points in bag.
Gone to disco. Decided to take dressing up bag back to room. Returned to disco. Bald wig now agony. Returned to room to swap bald wig for big hair.