Friday 5:30pm
Arrive at hotel after 3 hours travelling and 2 hours parked on the M25. Struggle in with 5 cases, 2 suit carriers, 1 box of robots and a Vorlon.
Personal note - Next time, employ sherpas.
At least Simon hasn't broken his foot to avoid carrying luggage this year.
Ask reception if we can stay Sunday night too. Reception say no.
Register for Redemption. Simon's green Drazi, I'm purple. Enemies again!

Dump stuff. Nip round to Sarah's for dinner, then hurry back for the opening ceremony. Arrived late. Bother, missed intro to guests and candidates for ruler of the Universe. Don't know what any of them look like (Yes, I know I should read my reports).

Did better in Quiz (came last,last time). Too tired to go to disco, too excited to go to bed. Attend 'Technology trends' panel with Piers Beckley and Phil Atcliffe. Most enjoyable debate that ran and ran. Decided we would achieve ray guns and would use personal flying cars to go and see invisible ships take off (Why we would want to watch invisible ships wasn't fully explained). We wouldn't have teleport, time travel, world governments or sonic screwdrivers. NO SONIC SCREWDRIVERS! Campaigned long and hard for sonic screwdrivers. Panel wouldn't relent.

Gave in and went to bed.

Saturday 9:00am
Simon discovers he's forgotten hair gel and spray. Honestly! these Centauri males and their hair! a quick polish and I was ready hours ago. Hurried to hairdressers in boulevard. Explained he couldn't do a thing with it. Hairdressers sell him hair gel. I goo his crest up.

Ran into the Regent on the way to breakfast. Told him he was such a wag to come to the convention as a human. Damian London, (The Regent in Babylon 5) explained how in later years on Babylon 5, they would only employ men with enough hair to make a crest. Tells Simon he would have had a job no problem. Simon wishes he'd been told that 10 years ago.

Saturday 11:00am
Sarah arrives. Went to Damian's panel. Most entertaining, he wanted to be Joan Fontaine. Nipped out for a drink at the end and bumped into him in the corridor. The regent kindly poses for some photos with us. Then the Ambassador staggered up, half dressed, clutching two glasses of wine and I know for a fact that NOBODY was hosting an ascension day party. Honestly, sometimes I blush to be Centauri! Mollari appeared to owe the Regent some gambling debts so they went off together.

Saturday 12:00pm
Decide to have lunch at Sainsburys. We adjusted our SEP fields and step out of the hotel. Diced with death down the main road. Humans completely oblivious to our presence. Ate lunch, then did a little shopping and ran into the Regent at the checkout. He advises us that as aliens, we should try to blend in a little more. He obviously isn't aware of SEP field technology. Haven't that heart to tell him that to the humans he looks like a madman who's raving to himself in the queue.
We help the Regent identify the funny money that humans insist on using. We have to go to customer services. The Regent returns to the hotel.

Emerge from Sainsburys and notice that the Regent is going back up a set of steps and not dicing with death on the road. We follow. The Regent looks over his shoulder to find a small band of Centauri in pursuit. He speeds up. Small band of Centauri start jogging.

Saturday 2:00pm
Small band of Centauri sprint into the hotel. No sign of the Regent. We go upstairs to drop Sarah's coat off. Pass a room that looks remarkably like a sweat shop. Beds are leant up against the walls and Fifitrix is slaving over a hot sewing machine. Bump into Damian outside his room. Discuss American politics

Saturday 2:30pm
Return to the bar. I spot Piers Beckley and decide to have a word about sonic screwdrivers. Piers remains completely unmoved. Sarah rolls eyes and feigns sympathy. Sarah and Simon cheer me up by taking me to my favourite thing in the whole world. The Dalek scalextric. We kick children off and spend happy half hour trying to make them fly over the ramp (The Daleks that is, not the children).

Saturday 3:00pm
Simon and I go to masquerade and cabaret rehearsal. Sarah goes home to see dogs. Simon and Zivic realise they're both entering the masquerade as Kosh (A Vorlon from B5). Both start worrying 'his might be bigger and better than mine.' Kosh envy and hysteria set in. Naomi and I pat their hands and try to calm them down. Discover that Naomi and I are both going as Farscape characters. Well great minds think alike!

Saturday 4:00pm
Start planning cabaret. Discover there's only 4 acts. Calculate I have 7 minutes to get out of my Jool costume and into my bellydance costume and back to perform. Cripes!

Saturday 5:00pm
Order food at bar. Still haven't managed to spot any guests (bar one). The Ambassador comes over and requests our presence at the Regent's reception from 6:00 to 8:00. We agree to go, but must make our excuses at 6:30 to allow time to be in our costumes for the masquerade.

Saturday 6:10pm
Regent is being dressed.

Saturday 6:20pm
Regent still being dressed

Saturday 6:25pm
Door opens. Sarah comes in.

Saturday 6:30pm
Regent probably lost

Saturday 6:35pm
The Regent arrives, resplendent in costume created for him (Hence Fifitrix and the steaming sewing machine). Simon proposes a toast to 'The Regent, the Republic, Redemption'. The ambassador confides to us that the Regent's wig is on back to front. We make polite conversation. The Regent suggests pastels for the interior decorations. At 7:00pm we bow and curtsey, make our excuses and float elegantly towards the door. Once outside, we stampede to our room and start throwing costumes on.

Saturday 7:10pm
Sarah helps Simon with engineering problem of getting him into his costume. I can't get bald wig off. Have glued it to my hair.

Saturday 7:15pm
Simon halfway into his costume. I'm still inching wig off my hair. Sarah comes to the rescue and rips it off. I perform little dance around room.

Wonder woman deflects attention from quiz ruse by attacking The Doctor. The Doctor throttles her with his scarf. Then The Gorn joins in and an almighty ruck breaks out in the wings.

Saturday 8:00pm
The masquerade starts. Being unable to do an Aussie accent or melt metal by screaming, I'm a bit stuck for a performance. I just stalk on, give everybody a filthy look and stalk off again.

Wonder Woman erupts on stage and beats the living daylights out of Chris O'shea. Hmm, perhaps I should have done that. Judging from audience reaction, it was a popular choice.
The Gorn steals the show with a superb costume and a dance to boot.

We line up for the parade but Wonder Woman and The Doctor still haven't resolved their differences. Main hall bursts with camera flashes. Feel like star. The Gorn, Chiana and both Koshs win a prize. The Koshs kiss and a good time was had by all.

Saturday 9:00pm
I float elegantly to door. Once outside, Sarah and I stampede to loos. I start throwing off Jool costume and pulling belly dance costume on.

6 minutes to go
Sarah struggles to pull my boots off.

2 minutes to go.
Ready!! Bother, need loo now

15 seconds to go
Arrive panting back stage in time to catch end of hilarious filk. Missed seeing Kat and Nicola dance AGAIN! Much miffed. Anybody got a video?

I (much out of breath) perform folky stick belly dance rather than my usual Turkish cabaret style.

Saturday 9:00pm
Return to room. Sarah helps Simon out of his Vorlon costume

Repair to bar. Somebody asked what the music was that I danced to. Mind went blank, so here's the entire list:-

Redemption '03 'Derwood Green' by Hossam Ramzy and Phil Thornton from the 'Immortal Egypt' album.

Redemption '01 'Hepsi Semi Mi' by Tarkan from the 'A-acayipsin' album.

Redemption '99 'Sehr Oyounik' by Hossam Ramsy from 'The best of Hossam Ramsy' and 'Source of Fire' albums.

Sarah goes home to dogs. We're very grateful to her for looking after us all day

Sat in boulevard and had 2 Irish coffees (WHY do they insist on using that dreadful spray foam instead of proper cream? Why don't they just put a sparkler and a parasol in it?). Chatted with lady who organised cabaret. Found she's a historical re-enactor too. She even knows somebody from our group (wish I could remember her name).

Consume a G&T.

Pleasant chat with Kat and Nicola. Make date to see their dance at the belly dance workshop and do a reprise of my Redemption '01 dance.

Consume another G&T

Decide it would be a great idea to dance around the boulevard with my stick balanced on my head. Decide it's probably not such a good idea. Suddenly have desperate urge to sing. Crash the singing circle and demand several repetitions of Hotel California.. Did some very pleasant duets with Cat. Haven't had a jolly good sing song for years!

Consume another G&T.

Become maudlin and start crooning into my glass. Decide to cheer myself up by going to the disco. Give my stick to cuddly chap sat next to me to look after. Simon and I hurry to disco. I put one foot on the dance floor and the disco ends. Return to singing circle.

Retrieve stick from cuddly chap who I've been singing at, with and to for the past hour (sorry for hogging it chaps) and finally notice that he's wearing a gold name badge. Must be Mike Collins who draws Judge Dredd for 2000 AD. I nudge Simon (2000 AD fan). Simon looks up, down and behind. I point discretely with both arms and a leg.

Spot Piers, was going to talk to him about something, noisy hammer drills or something. Can't remember. Start crooning again. Starting to run out of songs. Can't remember the words to the ones we can remember.

Sunday 2:30am
Simon carries me to bed.

Sunday 9:00am
Bounce out of bed feeling remarkably good. Simon does impression of beached whale. I get back into Jool costume and carry a case down to the porter's lodge ready to check out.

Return to room. Simon still snoring. I shake Simon. Simon turns over.
Carried another case down to porter's lodge.

Return to room. Beat Simon with pillow.
Carry box of robots to porter's lodge.

Return to room. Throw glass of water over Simon.
Carry Vorlon down to Porter's lodge.
Bump into the permanently squiffy Centauri lady. 'Gosh! Another Vorlon!' she cries, 'Did you see the two Vorlons in the fancy dress last night?'
'Umm yes, I did.' I reply

Return to room. Simon suggests missing breakfast and the tribble hunt.
I reach end of tether and stamp foot (immaculately shod in Jool boot).

'What do you mean, miss breakfast! Blah blah you can sleep at home blah blah only do this once every two years blah blah lying in your bed of filth blah blah carried all the suitcases down blah blah blah!'

Simon leaps out of bed and starts throwing clothes on.

Sunday 10:00am
Simon and I go to breakfast. I get hips stuck in chair. Simon looks very dapper as Victorian gentleman.

Sunday 10:45am
Carry remaining luggage to porter's lodge. Ask Londo where the Holiday Inn is. Londo suggests we ask if any rooms are free here as there have been some cancellations.
Receptionist gives us our old room back again. Wish I hadn't emptied it now.

Sunday 11:00am
Go to tribble hunt. Red tribbles worth 3 points, others worth 2. Orders are to seek, locate and return.
Everybody scampers off to boulevard. I plod behind. Jool boots not the best footwear for tribble hunts. People already running back with handfuls of tribbles. I haven't even made it to the boulevard yet.

Sarah arrives feeling very delicate with potential onset of migraine. Most unfair since she doesn't drink. I hope she's not having my hangover by proxy.

I plod around boulevard. Can't find any tribbles. Sarah half heartedly opens a drawer and discovers a red one. Simon goes by with 3 tribbles in his top hat. Curses! Mike Collins kindly points out a tribble hiding on top of a door.

Pinky makes fun of my plodding gait. Would have expected him to be more sympathetic since he spent Friday night in a dress and high heels.

Decide to abandon walking and crawl around on floor looking under sofas. Find two black tribbles and a red one. Shove them down bodice for safety. Star cops on adjacent sofa appear to have spilled most of their drinks. Plod to dealers room and crawl around there too. Return with handfuls of tribbles. Pinky informs me that my gait while crawling is no different form my gait when walking. Starting to get the hang of this hunting lark.

Sunday 11:30am
Invited to do cameo performance in chaos filming. Much flattered. I have to look scared, throw myself against the wall and shriek 'Oh my god, we're all going to die!' Hmm should I use method acting? Star Cop then grabs me and we run to life pod. Great fun. Continue hunt. Simon argues with cameraman over Equity rates.

Sunday 11:50am
Plod back to base. Can hunt no longer. Feet hurt too much. Tribbles are counted and I won! Seventeen Drazi points. Hurrah! I am born to the purple.

Sunday 12:00pm
Collect DRD (Farscape droid)and Dayna's bomb (B7, City at the edge of the world) and go to games room for space rats race. We stand around for a bit. Start to feel like Johnny no friends. Simon goes to ops to see who is running space rats. Simon returns. Simon is running space rats. Simon declares a draw and claims his green Drazi points and give them to his perfidious leader (Ha! Much good that'll do him!)

We take DRD and bomb out into the boulevard where they are pursued by several small children. Children exercised mercilessly.

Sunday 1:00pm
Sarah goes home for a lie down. We go to bar. I order food and turn to find Simon deep in conversation with Tanith Lee (Author and writer of 2 B7 episodes). Realise he is about to tell her his affectionate name for Dayna's bomb, given she must have stowed it somewhere quite intimate since she was wearing a skin tight jump suit. Tanith Lee starts to look like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a truck. I throw myself across the bar in slow motion shouting 'Noooo' (Sound of heartbeat in background). Disaster is averted as Simon's conversation is safely deflected onto films. We have a very pleasant chat with Tanith about historical re-enactment and Sarcophagus.

Sunday 2:00pm
We go to reminiscing about B7 mainly to find out what Chris Boucher looks like. The only guest who's eluded us so far. I ask question about Travis. My favourite character before the body transplant.

Sunday 3:00pm
John, Tanith Lee's lovely young man asks Simon and I to pose for some photos. Most honoured. Roam the hotel looking for a plain background. Find a good spot. John asks me to suck my cheeks in and pout. I pull face like guppy. John explains that wasn't quite what he was looking for.

Sunday 4:00pm
Sarah returns for the closing ceremony. Purple win Hurrah. The Doctor is unveiled as the most corrupt person at the convention and is therefore made ruler of the universe. Not as much corruption and mayhem as there has been in the past though. OK, a God got murdered, but nothing terribly significant.
Prizes given out. Simon gets one for Kosh. I get one for Tribbles. Wonder Woman erupts onto stage and attacks Chris O'shea with a fluffy Bat'Leth. Impressed with wonder woman's zeal.
The guests say farewell with much charm. Pleased to know we've raised Chris Boucher's opinion of the human race (Don't worry Chris, we'll get you next time).

Both chaos films are shown. I can watch the one from '01 'til the cows come home. Hmm, knew I should have used method acting.

Sunday 6:00pm
Ought to go to to belly dance workshop. Sarah doesn't feel up to it. I'm exhausted. Feel very bad about missing it. Having difficulty walking. Decide instead to have a shower and go round to Sarah's for dinner.

Bid Sarah a very fond farewell and return to the hotel. Everybody looks rather deflated. Tanith Lee and John say goodbye. Simon kisses Tanith's hand. I feel like the invisible woman without my wigs. We sit with Mike Collins and Simon gets to have a jolly good chin wag about his comic heroes. I try to talk about my girly comics, but being able to say 'Hey, did you see the second frame of page 7 of the issue 249?' appears to be a bit of a bloke thing. I can't manage more than, 'I really enjoyed Spellbound.' Mike Collins shows us some of his artwork. Very impressed.

Mike lends me his personal stereo so I can listen to some of his favourite music. We start discussing costumes for next time. Pinky wants to come as the entire Universe. Mike suggests Red Sonja for me. I baulk at the mail bikini. Mike assures us that the original Red Sonja wore shorts and a tunic. Mike draws us a picture.
Hmm 'thinks' Red Sonja.... Simon's got plenty of swords.... Could do Wonder Woman style entertainment on stage... hmmmm... Bet the audience would love that!.

Mike Takes a picture of me and Simon how we really are.

We chat long into the night.

Monday 3:00am
Lesley lets her Londo crest down. Everybody in the boulevard now knows that Redemption '03 is officially over. Would the last person to leave please switch off the hologram.

oooooOOOooooo

Return to the other Redemption '03 reports
Come to Redemption '05
Read Simon's report, it's complementary to mine (so he says, bloomin plagiarist!)

Please come and visit me at www.planethelen.co.uk
Or my belly dance chums and I at www.ishtardance.co.uk
Or Simon at www.planetsimon.co.uk

That was the best Redemption ever..
Three cheers for Judith, the guests and all who contributed. Hurrah!